Sunday, March 6, 2011

The bearded lady

By Bradley Smith


Word had spread about my meeting with the bearded lady and I was inundated with requests for more information. People were intrigued as to whether or not I had seen her again. I was as fascinated as everyone else. I felt myself drawn back, even if it meant returning to the barn area.

If you can remember, I last saw her selling drinks in the barn. She had fallen from the farmhouse table and was flashing her knickers whilst trying to get up. At the time I had run as fast as I could, but now it was time to return. I am not normally one to shy away from problems. I like to stand and deal with things as they present themselves.

Ironically, just as I had made myself give up on the idea of returning, I had a phone call from a client, who wanted a house refurbished in the vicinity of the barn. It was fate, I was meant to run into the bearded lady once more.

With some fear I altered my route and drove up the little road I had driven on several months earlier. As I approached , I could tell that the barn looked the same, Cider was painted on the roof. I slowed down when I was outside , and looked over at the barn. There she was, she looked over, and winked at me,then she spat at the ground. I must have looked horrified, as she looked again as she sucked in some strong tobacco from her clay pipe.

Slowly I opened the car door, my hand shaking. She motioned me over and my feet felt like they were weighed down. Somehow I made it over, she offered me her pipe and I politely declined, barely audible. She had obviously been drinking, the smell of alcohol, strong tobacco and body odor permeated the air.

The cider was displayed on a welsh dresser and as I selected one and handed her the money, her hand tightened round mine and she pulled me towards her. Glaring into my eyes she spat out the words: 'This cider will make all you see as ugly transformed into the most amazing beauties you have ever seen, that is until morning'. She winked once more and struggling to release my hand, I staggered back to the car and as quick as I could I sped away from the barn, regretting my return.




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