The blonde jokes below are from the book 100% Blonde Jokes. Check it out now for 100s of appropriate blonde jokes.
Your Kid Has Been Kidnapped A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
Diamond Ring A cop saw a young blonde woman down on her knees under a streetlight. "Can I help you?" he asked. Replied the woman, "I dropped my diamond ring and I'm looking for it." Asked the cop "Did you drop it right here?" "No," responded the blonde, "I dropped it about a block away, but the light's better here."
Acute Appendicitis A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, ''You have acute appendicitis.'' The blond yelled at the doctor... ''I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!''
She Was Soooo Blonde... - She studied for a blood test. - She sold the car for gas money. - When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead. - When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, 'Airport Left,' she turned around and went home. - When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. - She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. - She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening. - She had a shirt that said 'TGIF,' which she thought stood for 'This Goes In Front.' - She thought Taco Bell was the Mexican phone company.
Guess Who Knows the State Capitals? A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them." A redhead said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
Your Kid Has Been Kidnapped A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
Diamond Ring A cop saw a young blonde woman down on her knees under a streetlight. "Can I help you?" he asked. Replied the woman, "I dropped my diamond ring and I'm looking for it." Asked the cop "Did you drop it right here?" "No," responded the blonde, "I dropped it about a block away, but the light's better here."
Acute Appendicitis A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, ''You have acute appendicitis.'' The blond yelled at the doctor... ''I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!''
She Was Soooo Blonde... - She studied for a blood test. - She sold the car for gas money. - When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead. - When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, 'Airport Left,' she turned around and went home. - When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. - She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. - She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening. - She had a shirt that said 'TGIF,' which she thought stood for 'This Goes In Front.' - She thought Taco Bell was the Mexican phone company.
Guess Who Knows the State Capitals? A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them." A redhead said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
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Read 100s more great blonde jokes from the best joke book ever: 100% Blonde Jokes. Check it out, you will thank me...
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