My youngest daughter, who at the tender age of 5, is very wise for the short amount of time she has graced our lives with her views of life. This year she started preschool; with her birthday later in the year she is one of the oldest in her class. They gave all the kids a poster to decorate as a means of introduction to everyone.
Nor is Elswick above poking fun at himself. While he may be amazed and stunned by the things the women around him do, he ultimately laughs at his own reactions to events and the expectations women have of him. When he tries to outsmart women such as by "multi-tasking" (watching the game while changing his daughter's diaper), his efforts have a tendency to backfire, ultimately to his and the reader's amusement.
One of the issues my son was having was dealing with textures. He didn't like touching anything that would make his hands dirty. He would eat a chicken leg by stabbing the meaty part with a fork. At school they wanted him to finger paint; you would think that would be simple right. I have a series of pictures of him finger painting on a paper plate and the look on his face is like they put "poo" on his hands. But it got worse he didn't like the soap to wash his hands to get the paint off.
"Sure enough, there was something-a shoestring. Why did she wash a shoestring? I rolled my eyes in typical disbelief. I reached my hand in to pull it out, hoping it hadn't somehow wound itself inside the machine and broken something. I just knew it had caused damage to my dryer. Thankfully, as I grabbed onto the black string, it wasn't wound into a mess and pulled right out. Relieved and feeling my anger exhale, I lifted the....
"At that point, I stopped exhaling and even stopped breathing. What I grasped in my right hand was what I had thought was a string. Now, I quickly realized it was no string at all. As I brought what I thought belonged in my daughter's shoe to eye level, I felt it was nearly the worst Dad Moment in my parenting life. I could have screamed when I realized this "string" in no way resembled what I had originally thought.
"That tiny piece of string made me feel as nauseated as when I had discovered what With Wings meant. "That shoestring was...one of my fourteen-year-old daughter's thongs. "As I had learned in my Padman adventure, there are certain things we men never want to run across in life. This one ranked right up there with catching your parents having sex."
As if having to deal with a teenage daughter growing up were not enough, Elswick has had to overcome some other very serious hurdles in his life. While the bulk of "Padman" is composed of humorous stories, sprinkled throughout are a few quite serious stories and essays. The most dramatic story is that of Elswick himself, who survived a bizarre car accident that left him with a traumatic brain incident (TBI) injury. The doctors told Elswick's parents that he was unlikely to live, and if he did, he would be a vegetable for the rest of his life. Against all odds, Elswick not only survived but has gone on to live a relatively normal life, although his TBI continues to affect him. Elswick does not dwell at great length or with negativity on his trials, but he does want this book to raise awareness of TBI and appreciation for how precious life is. He provides many laughs in these pages with a little education tossed in for good measure. Elswick is currently working on a longer book about TBI to be released in 2012. In the meantime, partial proceeds from the sale of "Padman" are being donated to TBI research.
Nor is Elswick above poking fun at himself. While he may be amazed and stunned by the things the women around him do, he ultimately laughs at his own reactions to events and the expectations women have of him. When he tries to outsmart women such as by "multi-tasking" (watching the game while changing his daughter's diaper), his efforts have a tendency to backfire, ultimately to his and the reader's amusement.
One of the issues my son was having was dealing with textures. He didn't like touching anything that would make his hands dirty. He would eat a chicken leg by stabbing the meaty part with a fork. At school they wanted him to finger paint; you would think that would be simple right. I have a series of pictures of him finger painting on a paper plate and the look on his face is like they put "poo" on his hands. But it got worse he didn't like the soap to wash his hands to get the paint off.
"Sure enough, there was something-a shoestring. Why did she wash a shoestring? I rolled my eyes in typical disbelief. I reached my hand in to pull it out, hoping it hadn't somehow wound itself inside the machine and broken something. I just knew it had caused damage to my dryer. Thankfully, as I grabbed onto the black string, it wasn't wound into a mess and pulled right out. Relieved and feeling my anger exhale, I lifted the....
"At that point, I stopped exhaling and even stopped breathing. What I grasped in my right hand was what I had thought was a string. Now, I quickly realized it was no string at all. As I brought what I thought belonged in my daughter's shoe to eye level, I felt it was nearly the worst Dad Moment in my parenting life. I could have screamed when I realized this "string" in no way resembled what I had originally thought.
"That tiny piece of string made me feel as nauseated as when I had discovered what With Wings meant. "That shoestring was...one of my fourteen-year-old daughter's thongs. "As I had learned in my Padman adventure, there are certain things we men never want to run across in life. This one ranked right up there with catching your parents having sex."
As if having to deal with a teenage daughter growing up were not enough, Elswick has had to overcome some other very serious hurdles in his life. While the bulk of "Padman" is composed of humorous stories, sprinkled throughout are a few quite serious stories and essays. The most dramatic story is that of Elswick himself, who survived a bizarre car accident that left him with a traumatic brain incident (TBI) injury. The doctors told Elswick's parents that he was unlikely to live, and if he did, he would be a vegetable for the rest of his life. Against all odds, Elswick not only survived but has gone on to live a relatively normal life, although his TBI continues to affect him. Elswick does not dwell at great length or with negativity on his trials, but he does want this book to raise awareness of TBI and appreciation for how precious life is. He provides many laughs in these pages with a little education tossed in for good measure. Elswick is currently working on a longer book about TBI to be released in 2012. In the meantime, partial proceeds from the sale of "Padman" are being donated to TBI research.
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