When I started thinking about how I was going to buy a bunch of cheap, silly, funny Christmas tshirts all year long and use them to tame my villainously mean family, I really didn't think I would get as much out of it that I did. I figured I would just have that same prankster spirit that I've always had and my family would be either slightly less or slightly more irate than usual. What I got instead changed the way my family viewed Christmas forever. This is how the whole thing went down...
Every family has someone like my uncle. He's the guy that forgets to buy presents and has a different, low-income job every year. For some reason, though, I love my uncle the best of all my distant families. He always has a smile on his face, even when I can tell that my aunt is seriously hurting his feelings with her snippy remarks. When I saw this happening, I rushed and put on one of my funny Christmas tshirts that I had dog-eared for this foreseen circumstance. It just had an elf who looked like he'd been partaking of some questionable herbs with text that read, "364 Days Off". That got a laugh from everyone, and suddenly the fight was diverted.
My aunt would be back, however. She was like the bad guy in a television show: she's never truly defeated. It would take more than just one of my funny Christmas tshirts to best this worthy opponent. I had to head her off at the proverbial pass before things got serious and she went after my mom or pops. I went and changed my shirt to one that had a really mad looking Mrs. Claus on it waving a rolling pin at a Santa who is flying away in the distance. I looked at my aunt, pointed to my shirt, and asked her if it reminded her of anyone. She said, "Very funny." and walked away...but she left everyone alone, so I count it a success.
I saw my uncle looking at me from across the room and he gave me a secret little smile when my aunt walked out with an introspective look on her face. My funny Christmas t shirts gambit was working perfectly as I planned it. I had something planned for my crotchety grandma too, but she was sleeping through the whole thing so she was no longer a threat. My mom was going to need something, though. I could feel it. Her tension levels were through the roof and I could sense a quiet, private, cry-fest looming on her horizon.
I found my mom in the kitchen on Christmas as per usual, working on cleaning the dishes from the feast she had spent all day preparing. I had a pang of guilt and anger. Anger because no one was helping, and guilt because I was one of those people not helping. I stood next to her and started drying and putting away clean dishes. She smiled wanly at me and a positioned myself so she could see the funny Christmas t-shirt I was wearing. It had a picture of a family of bears posing with various grumpy expressions with print above it that said "Happy Christmas?"
My mother just looked at that one selection from all of my funny Christmas t-shirts and a tear dripped down onto her cheek. I thought I had made a huge mistake, but she hugged me as tight as she ever has and said "God, I hate Christmas." We both started laughing so hard that my dad and aunt came into the kitchen. They were both smiling. They saw the tears on my mom's face and came over to hug us. We all stood there hugged, laughing, and crying. It was the best Christmas ever. All thanks to some funny Christmas t-shirts.
Every family has someone like my uncle. He's the guy that forgets to buy presents and has a different, low-income job every year. For some reason, though, I love my uncle the best of all my distant families. He always has a smile on his face, even when I can tell that my aunt is seriously hurting his feelings with her snippy remarks. When I saw this happening, I rushed and put on one of my funny Christmas tshirts that I had dog-eared for this foreseen circumstance. It just had an elf who looked like he'd been partaking of some questionable herbs with text that read, "364 Days Off". That got a laugh from everyone, and suddenly the fight was diverted.
My aunt would be back, however. She was like the bad guy in a television show: she's never truly defeated. It would take more than just one of my funny Christmas tshirts to best this worthy opponent. I had to head her off at the proverbial pass before things got serious and she went after my mom or pops. I went and changed my shirt to one that had a really mad looking Mrs. Claus on it waving a rolling pin at a Santa who is flying away in the distance. I looked at my aunt, pointed to my shirt, and asked her if it reminded her of anyone. She said, "Very funny." and walked away...but she left everyone alone, so I count it a success.
I saw my uncle looking at me from across the room and he gave me a secret little smile when my aunt walked out with an introspective look on her face. My funny Christmas t shirts gambit was working perfectly as I planned it. I had something planned for my crotchety grandma too, but she was sleeping through the whole thing so she was no longer a threat. My mom was going to need something, though. I could feel it. Her tension levels were through the roof and I could sense a quiet, private, cry-fest looming on her horizon.
I found my mom in the kitchen on Christmas as per usual, working on cleaning the dishes from the feast she had spent all day preparing. I had a pang of guilt and anger. Anger because no one was helping, and guilt because I was one of those people not helping. I stood next to her and started drying and putting away clean dishes. She smiled wanly at me and a positioned myself so she could see the funny Christmas t-shirt I was wearing. It had a picture of a family of bears posing with various grumpy expressions with print above it that said "Happy Christmas?"
My mother just looked at that one selection from all of my funny Christmas t-shirts and a tear dripped down onto her cheek. I thought I had made a huge mistake, but she hugged me as tight as she ever has and said "God, I hate Christmas." We both started laughing so hard that my dad and aunt came into the kitchen. They were both smiling. They saw the tears on my mom's face and came over to hug us. We all stood there hugged, laughing, and crying. It was the best Christmas ever. All thanks to some funny Christmas t-shirts.
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If you need to know more about Christmas t-shirts check out Christmas t-shirts for a great example.
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