Sunday, September 4, 2011

Halloween T-Shirt Or Terrible Costume?

By Ben York


Who has time to worry about some stupid Halloween costume? If you ask me, a Halloween t-shirt beats the idea of toiling away and getting dressed up for what is, essentially, a children's holiday. No, thank you. Just because I don't want to get dressed up like Batman, or whatever, doesn't mean I don't want to get drunk. If you are resistant to the idea of a Halloween t-shirt, here are a few other options.

One idea is to dress up as a hobo. This is a pretty cheap and easy option, because all you need are some old clothes and some fireplace ash for your cheeks and forehead. This might be easy, but you shouldn't overdo it. If people think you're a real hobo, you may get spare change and asked to leave the party. You'd never get asked to leave if you were wearing a Halloween t-shirt.

You could always dress as a giant back of trash. That's a pretty cheap and fast costume. Cut some holes in a giant trash bag for your appendages and hang an old condom over your ear, and you will look like the trashiest trash at the party. Good luck on getting anyone to talk to you, though. I guess a Halloween t-shirt is better than being trash too, eh?

You might be able to get away with wearing absolutely nothing at all, too. Well, you'd still have to wear your normal clothes. Wearing nothing would get you a trip to jail, and being naked in jail on Halloween is bad. When people ask what you are, you can just tell them you are the physical embodiment of Apathy. That'll go over real well, I'm sure. Not as well as a Halloween t-shirt, I bet.

I hope you get the feeling that there is no other better option for a cheap and easy Halloween costume than a Halloween t-shirt. It's the only thing you can do to retain your coolness while still being aloof of the holiday spirit of Halloween. You may be a jerk, but at least people will still want to share a drink with you.




About the Author:



No comments: