Not to sound like an old man, but where in the heck did these kids come from? Have you ever stepped out of your house, looked around, and thought you were being invaded by time travelers from the distant future? Every young person I see has their nose buried in some expensive gadget and wearing a cool t-shirt that looks way more amazing than anything I ever owned.
I have no idea when this transformation took place in my life. I never wanted to be the lame guy who doesn't understand what the newest trend is all about. You should have seen me in the 80's, man. I was a denim jacket wearing, acid-washed maniac. You couldn't keep me out of the clubs, and you sure as heck couldn't stop me from dancing. I was the epitome of cool
I'm not going to let anyone tell me about their silly theories of when a person shifts from the bright, shiny cool spectrum to the dark and dreary realms of the uncool. They will tell you it was getting married that does it. They will try to convince you that work makes you uncool. They will even try to make you think it's your kids' fault. How can that be true when I hate my job, don't have kids, and never been married?
If I could go visit a shrink or a doctor with a PhD in coolness, I would be there before the day was out. Maybe they could give me a pill or do some kind of age-regression hypnosis trick on me to make me feel like I did when I was 25 years old. I'm fairly certain none of those miracle cures exist. I am fatally uncool. There is no cure for this disease.
When my mother told me that all kids turn into their parents one day, I wanted to scream my denial in her face. There was no way I was ever going to be a pencil-pushing desk jockey like my old man, and I was definitely not going to join a weekly Bridge club like my mom. Lo and behold, I play spades (close enough) and I work in a cubicle (too close for comfort.) I guess I'll continue to be confused by the bright, cool t-shirts and the slang words I don't understand. I'm too old to be cool.
I have no idea when this transformation took place in my life. I never wanted to be the lame guy who doesn't understand what the newest trend is all about. You should have seen me in the 80's, man. I was a denim jacket wearing, acid-washed maniac. You couldn't keep me out of the clubs, and you sure as heck couldn't stop me from dancing. I was the epitome of cool
I'm not going to let anyone tell me about their silly theories of when a person shifts from the bright, shiny cool spectrum to the dark and dreary realms of the uncool. They will tell you it was getting married that does it. They will try to convince you that work makes you uncool. They will even try to make you think it's your kids' fault. How can that be true when I hate my job, don't have kids, and never been married?
If I could go visit a shrink or a doctor with a PhD in coolness, I would be there before the day was out. Maybe they could give me a pill or do some kind of age-regression hypnosis trick on me to make me feel like I did when I was 25 years old. I'm fairly certain none of those miracle cures exist. I am fatally uncool. There is no cure for this disease.
When my mother told me that all kids turn into their parents one day, I wanted to scream my denial in her face. There was no way I was ever going to be a pencil-pushing desk jockey like my old man, and I was definitely not going to join a weekly Bridge club like my mom. Lo and behold, I play spades (close enough) and I work in a cubicle (too close for comfort.) I guess I'll continue to be confused by the bright, cool t-shirts and the slang words I don't understand. I'm too old to be cool.
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