Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Brighten Things Up With Retirement Jokes

By Owen Jones


Most people approach retirement with a gloomy countenance. They approach retirement as if it is giving into the hands of fate and the debilitation of the body. Therefore, it is important to help the retiree realize that retirement is something to be accepted because it is an inevitable stage in ones life. But how can one do that? Its simple: poke fun at retirement. Retirement jokes, made in speeches, are very popular. However, speeches tend to become emotional to the point that everyone in the room is in a state of gloom and sympathy. But one can raise the bar with retirement jokes (without insulting the retiree, of course).

Examples: In addition to talking about the wonderful moments the speaker has shared with the retiree, he/she can add something that will lighten up the atmosphere. One could give a tombstone slab, which has the inscription in advance on it. If you're a friend, you may also make a joke by calling the retiree grandfather whenever the retiree speaks to you, as in "OK, grandfather". This can also help lighten the mood. But dont overdo it, of course.

Another gag that might help is a wig in an unusual color like pink or purple. A follow up item to that joke might be that he may need a wig in the near future. If he refuses it, say: Okay, then wear a paper bag instead when you go bald. Always be prepared when a joke falls flat. So keep those backup jokes ready! Believe it or not, some agencies write and sell personalized retirement speeches with witty jokes built in after understanding the personality and interests of the retiree. These companies usually add jokes about the retirees profession. If one cannot find enough retirement jokes, a visit to a bookstore can help a great deal.

There are joke books that cover a wide range of topics, only one of which is retirement. A little search on this or that will help inspire the reader if he/she isnt a natural comedian. These can also be great retirement gifts as well, helping the retiree have a good laugh on one of those boring Monday afternoons. There are also a lot of websites on the net that provide a lot of jokes and free retirement e-books. The e-books that are available range from the 100 Best Things Said about Retirement to Retirement Wisdom You Wont Get from your Bank Manager.

Conclusion: You have a lot of leeway when telling jokes at a retirement party. If you know someone who is approaching retirement, you can first send an email or two which has retirement quotations like retirement is when everyday is Saturday and retirement: goodbye tension, hello pension!. It is a good gesture and gives the impression that you understand what the future retiree is facing.

Again, keep the retiree (future or not) relaxed as much as possible. Make him/her anticipate retirement with a smile and not with a sigh as much as you can. And when the retirement party does come, keep the same light-hearted approach, inserting jokes here and there and possibly some gags like the ones mentioned above. Not only will the retiree feel less wary about retirement, he/she will focus more on the people who made him happy on that bitter-sweet day, especially the one who gave him that weird pink wig.




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