Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Funny Irish T-Shirts Slamming Down The Shots Right Beside You!

By Dennis Mosley


Well, the time draws near for one of the biggest nights for drunken revelry in the United States. It's time to put on your green hat, find some funny Irish t-shirts, and get down to partying. It's not like your friends are going to let you slide and stay home. Your destined for the bar, and there is very little you can do about it but swallow your green beer and smile...it's almost St. Paddy's Day.

Once you're wearing the best funny Irish t-shirts you can find, it's time to start drinking. If you're half-Irish or more, then this means you've started drinking at 8 in the morning. For everyone else drinking on Saint Patrick's Day, it is okay to start around 4 in the afternoon. Just remember to start with beer, because you don't want to be drooling on yourself at 7 pm.

When you are thoroughly socially lubricated, you can expect your fine choice of funny Irish t-shirts to pay off. This is the point of the night when your natural charisma starts to seriously fade, and your hilarious shirt will pick up the slack where you are lacking. It's hard to tell a good joke when you are the only one laughing. Let the shirts do their work.

The time comes during any party, even a St. Patty's Day party, when you have to decide if it's time to find a sober person to take you home. The appropriate answer, no matter how drunk you are, is to say "no" to this question. It is time to drink and to be as obnoxiously Irish as you possibly can be. It even helps if you talk in a fake Irish accent while showing people your funny Irish t-shirts. They'll appreciate the authenticity.

When you wake up, you're likely to be either in an alley, the back of someone's car, or a jail cell. You're also very likely to be wearing someone else's vomit on your funny Irish t-shirts. It may be a whole different adventure finding your way home while the sun tries to kill you, but you must get home to the comfort of your dark bedroom. Good luck on this journey. Your night of pretending to be Irish has finally come to an end.




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