Well, I hope you guys are ready! The year 2012 is coming and if an extinct civilization has anything to say about it, it will be the end of our world as we know it! How will the world end, you might enquire? Will it be floods, famine, meteors, or earthquakes? Not a chance, friends! The world will end in plague...a plague of the living dead, to be exact! When zombies are crawling towards us en masse, just remember that it was me and Romero who told you to keep your head down. How do you think you'll fare? Well, it depends on what type of survivor you'll be...and what type of survivor you'll be depends on what kind of zombie t-shirts you wear.
The first type of survivor is the Runner. The Runner never sits still, and dares anyone to try and keep up with them. They move from town to town, stealing gas and vehicles along the way. When they Runner encounters a huge mob of the living dead, they do not try any heroic feats of combat...they just run. Runners have a high success rate of survival, but are very likely to go mad from constant paranoia and sleep deprivation. Everyone has to sleep sometime, right? The best zombie t-shirts for Runners are the shirts that say things like, "Warning: In Case Of Zombie Apocalypse, I Will Trip You."
The second type of survivor is known as "The Governor." The Governor is a person who uses the extreme circumstances that surround a zombie apocalypse as a means to manipulate, control, and own other people. This is not someone who has other people's best interests at heart. No, the Governor likes to make people do what he wants merely by the force of his so-called "protection". Feed people like this to the undead and your own survival chances will be much improved. The best zombie t-shirts for the Governor should be whichever ones let the rest of the world know what a jerk they are.
The last type of zombie apocalypse survivor is the "Hero." The Hero is our kind of guy...or gal. I'm totally not a misogynist. These people are not like some other kinds of survivors and are only concerned about themselves. They want as many people as they can find to live through the catastrophe so that the human race can rebuild from the ruins of its former glory. The Hero will sacrifice their own safety to ensure the safety of others, and they should be applauded...right before they are shot in the head because their actions led to their inevitable zombification. The Hero's survival chances are not so hot, honestly...for obvious reasons. The best zombie t-shirts for these Heroes should have some kind of Superman symbol on it.
The chances that you're going to survive a zombie outbreak are pretty slim, but if you look at the kind of zombie t-shirts that people are wearing whom you come across in the shattered landscape of the terrible future, you may have a tiny sliver of a better chance. The stark reality is that you're most likely to get eaten on for a while before you die and are changed into an unloving abomination without a soul. Don't be depressed, though! You still have a year to get ready!
The first type of survivor is the Runner. The Runner never sits still, and dares anyone to try and keep up with them. They move from town to town, stealing gas and vehicles along the way. When they Runner encounters a huge mob of the living dead, they do not try any heroic feats of combat...they just run. Runners have a high success rate of survival, but are very likely to go mad from constant paranoia and sleep deprivation. Everyone has to sleep sometime, right? The best zombie t-shirts for Runners are the shirts that say things like, "Warning: In Case Of Zombie Apocalypse, I Will Trip You."
The second type of survivor is known as "The Governor." The Governor is a person who uses the extreme circumstances that surround a zombie apocalypse as a means to manipulate, control, and own other people. This is not someone who has other people's best interests at heart. No, the Governor likes to make people do what he wants merely by the force of his so-called "protection". Feed people like this to the undead and your own survival chances will be much improved. The best zombie t-shirts for the Governor should be whichever ones let the rest of the world know what a jerk they are.
The last type of zombie apocalypse survivor is the "Hero." The Hero is our kind of guy...or gal. I'm totally not a misogynist. These people are not like some other kinds of survivors and are only concerned about themselves. They want as many people as they can find to live through the catastrophe so that the human race can rebuild from the ruins of its former glory. The Hero will sacrifice their own safety to ensure the safety of others, and they should be applauded...right before they are shot in the head because their actions led to their inevitable zombification. The Hero's survival chances are not so hot, honestly...for obvious reasons. The best zombie t-shirts for these Heroes should have some kind of Superman symbol on it.
The chances that you're going to survive a zombie outbreak are pretty slim, but if you look at the kind of zombie t-shirts that people are wearing whom you come across in the shattered landscape of the terrible future, you may have a tiny sliver of a better chance. The stark reality is that you're most likely to get eaten on for a while before you die and are changed into an unloving abomination without a soul. Don't be depressed, though! You still have a year to get ready!
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For more information about zombie t-shirts check out my pick for the best zombie t-shirts on the web.
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