The primary rule of advertising since time began, is that every blank surface represents someone losing money from not having an logo or promotion on it.
But if you've visited certain places lately (Las Vegas, Hong Kong, the 4th-9th circles of Hell) you'll understand that just like endangered species and unemployed third-world children, we're rapidly running out of unsold blank surfaces in our environment. So future marketers will need to become more devious.
There's no reason to worry about the future of the ad industry, and its little tapeworm-like denizens, however... the process of evolution applies equally to the lowest life forms.
It seems IBM's already on the job, having devised an idea that is so evil, you could add 'and also put toxic waste in chocolate milk' without making it any worse.
When the Global Positioning Satellite system was authorized for civilian use in the 1990s, it represented a genuine boon to everything from research to industry, and even our daily lives. There's a whole generation of folks driving around these days having never known what it was once like to be stranded somewhere without an automatic map in their pocket.
GPS has one job to do and it does it well - so, some greedy idiot thinks, why not monkey with it to make a few dollars?
An IBM employee has come up with the idea of a algorithm which would empower advertising to influence your GPS routing - it would enable braindead marketers to (and I quote): "pay a fee in return for having your route calculation service de-optimize driving instructions to make you do a drive-by of their stores, and an additional fee if GPS tracking of your car indicates you actually took the suboptimal route."
After creeping back to his master Lucifer for a pat on the head, this opportunistic infection of a person went and filed for a patent, of course.
So one day, imagine how mourners in a funeral procession could be subtly diverted past a local fitness club - ambulances might be persuaded to make a quick detour past a conveniently-located personal injury legal firm - school buses, affordably guided to trundle past Catholic churches?
The patent filing contains no mention about maintaining common decency or good taste, so let cash be your muse!
This approach has endless potential - hip new skrillex beats can be downloaded to pacemakers, traffic lights can be built to burn corporate logos into your brain while you wait trapped, and why not load fire hydrants in important demographic regions with the latest energy-boosting sports drink??
Practically anything which was designed to do one job and do it well can be subverted and destroyed (or "monetized") by marketing.
But if you've visited certain places lately (Las Vegas, Hong Kong, the 4th-9th circles of Hell) you'll understand that just like endangered species and unemployed third-world children, we're rapidly running out of unsold blank surfaces in our environment. So future marketers will need to become more devious.
There's no reason to worry about the future of the ad industry, and its little tapeworm-like denizens, however... the process of evolution applies equally to the lowest life forms.
It seems IBM's already on the job, having devised an idea that is so evil, you could add 'and also put toxic waste in chocolate milk' without making it any worse.
When the Global Positioning Satellite system was authorized for civilian use in the 1990s, it represented a genuine boon to everything from research to industry, and even our daily lives. There's a whole generation of folks driving around these days having never known what it was once like to be stranded somewhere without an automatic map in their pocket.
GPS has one job to do and it does it well - so, some greedy idiot thinks, why not monkey with it to make a few dollars?
An IBM employee has come up with the idea of a algorithm which would empower advertising to influence your GPS routing - it would enable braindead marketers to (and I quote): "pay a fee in return for having your route calculation service de-optimize driving instructions to make you do a drive-by of their stores, and an additional fee if GPS tracking of your car indicates you actually took the suboptimal route."
After creeping back to his master Lucifer for a pat on the head, this opportunistic infection of a person went and filed for a patent, of course.
So one day, imagine how mourners in a funeral procession could be subtly diverted past a local fitness club - ambulances might be persuaded to make a quick detour past a conveniently-located personal injury legal firm - school buses, affordably guided to trundle past Catholic churches?
The patent filing contains no mention about maintaining common decency or good taste, so let cash be your muse!
This approach has endless potential - hip new skrillex beats can be downloaded to pacemakers, traffic lights can be built to burn corporate logos into your brain while you wait trapped, and why not load fire hydrants in important demographic regions with the latest energy-boosting sports drink??
Practically anything which was designed to do one job and do it well can be subverted and destroyed (or "monetized") by marketing.
About the Author:
Ben Scott is a humorist whose theme is 'schadenfreude' (a German expression which translates to "enjoying others' woe") - you can find more of his essays at his homepage and if you liked this item, you'll probably enjoy another favorite online.
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